I was in a season where I couldn’t stand the thought of another closed door and I was weary and worn out from wrestling with God. After a series of slammed doors and plans that didn’t exactly pan out, I had resigned myself to something smaller, but something safe. Maybe you’ve been there too? The in-between. The messy middle. The place where you feel like your grand, God-given dreams get neatly packaged up and put away like Christmas decorations at the end of the holiday season.
Nevertheless, I felt a tug on my heart to try again. The tug that says: “I’m here. I’m with you. Take the next step,” and you wonder, “Did God really mean that? Am I hearing Him right?” I argued with God and stifled the nudge of the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t face yet another failure with the months of waiting, wondering, hoping and praying that didn’t come to pass. But then something strange started happening. Despite manufacturing my life for smallness, for something simple and predictable, things began to go disastrously wrong. Like, hilariously bad.
I was “let go” from my safe, but small job after a series of glorious, God-ordained mishaps. Looking back, I’m so grateful for the closed door that shoved me out of my self-made complacency. To be fair, God didn’t so much close door as he did burn the whole house down, but I digress.
I once tried to manufacture a rejection-free life, but God, in His perfect perusal of me, turned rejection into my biggest blessing. Now, I have the courage to pray for closed doors because God has shown me that His rejection is simply a redirection.
Now, I have the courage to pray for closed doors because God has shown me that His rejection is simply a redirection.
Kathryn Haines
I want to encourage you to pray bold prayers and ask God to show you not only what He wants for your life but what He doesn’t. While you’re waiting, remind yourself of the prayers that came to pass, the promises kept and the dreams fulfilled. Lord, I don’t know what the next step is. I don’t know what this season will bring, but I do know that you are good and my future is safe in your faithfulness. Amen.
How can I pray for you? Let me know in the comments below or connect with me on Instagram at @ImKathrynHaines
